Here are 5 soul evolution things you learn in your 30's…
You wish you knew earlier
There are moments when I wished I can go back in time. The reason being was to re-live situations I had to go through in the past with the intention to essentially “fix” them. In an ideal world, with a time machine I can go back to those moments with the personality I have today and make better decisions. Would not that be nice? After years of life experience, when you gain that new perspective on the world. The perspective that makes you see different angles you could not even perceive 10, 5, not even 2 years before, at times. Now, with the realization that this time trip will never happen, I am grateful that these moments still exist in my memory. I can always replay those situations to process and experience a different reality from which I can learn and grow. While sometimes I regret some decisions that I took in the past (ummm, who doesn’t?), I also know without those wrongful decisions and mistakes, I would not be the current version of myself. The version which is scarred yet humbled with so many life experiences.
The past few years of being a thirty something year old, I felt many dots have come together and naturally started to connect and make a perfect line. A line that I worked on all my life without conciously realizing it, until now. I wanted to share a few things from my lifeline for anyone out there, maybe it helps you skip a few steps and get to overcome bigger and more interesting challenges and never have to fall in the little pit-holes on the way. Here are a few things I learned by my thirties I wish I knew earlier:
It’s your view that needs to shift, not the world: One of the most beautiful and most powerful quotes I read left a dent on my heart and shaped me forever: “It matters not how strait the gate, How charged with punishments the scroll, I am the master of my fate, I am the captain of my soul.” If you’re an avid
follower like myself (hello, Super-souler!) you probably already understand this concept. Almost every Sunday, Oprah touches important soul subjects, and no matter what she discusses, I believe she always rolls back to this important concept: the world will not change for you, but rather, you’re the master of your own fate, and the captain of your soul. You are the decision maker in every aspect of your life. The world might provide you with certain paths to take, but YOU will be the one ultimately choosing and shifting perspectives. You and only you can manipulate your perspective on reality. And it would be unfair to yourself to wait around for things to change. Because, in most cases, they will not.Trust is not unconditionally given: We encounter many people growing up, starting with our parents, siblings, going on to our neighbors, classmates and teachers. Those first formative years we are showered with love and surrounded by people who look out for us wherever we go. Trust is not a question for a lot of us growing up. However, it comes a time when we are out of our little cocoons. We are no longer in the safe space that our parents provided for us. Now we are in the wild. We assume that everyone is like our parents and siblings, because hey, they look like them, they act like them, so the trust bonds naturally transfer over. Until you find out that no, those people are not necessarily like our care givers, and do not necessarily have our best interests at heart. We live in a world of con artists. Unfortunately. It is the truth. You can call me jaded, and I am not saying everyone is. But it’s a prevalent phenomenon, especially with the influence of social media providing a medium to paint deceptive self-images that are farther than reality. What I am trying to say, it is fair to build a filtering system at one point in your life to make sure no one with such traits easily slips in. Once I was given the wisdom: keep trust conditional, while you let the person in front of you in, always keep that 10% of doubt in your heart to question their being, and most importantly, their intentions.
Deal with reality as it is, not as you wish it to be: We live in a world that continuously tells us to stay positive, even when things are really rough. I always felt there is something wrong with this notion, and my feelings of doubt were confirmed when I listened to Dr. Susan David’s TedTalk for the first time. As she talked, I could not but agree more. Finally, someone who understands my pain. I am surrounded by an epidemic of false positivity! The active process of shoving feelings under the rug and jumping to solutions, without actually FEELING the process is a recipe for disease. Research on top of research is coming out to confirm the fact that suppressed feelings can boil inside and come out later in life as a disease. Express yourself. Talk about what is bothering you and FEEL sad, CRY! It’s ok! It’s what Susan refers to as “part of our contract with life.” and they are essentially the “price of admission to a meaningful life.” Today I invite you to choose a life of rich inner happiness rather than constantly wearing a mask of such to escape reality and impress the world. I hope you join!
Expectation is everything! Ever asked yourself why do I get disappointed? Turned out the answer is simple, and you can control it. We get disappointed because we create strings of expectations and attach them to people of our choice (or even things sometimes). We date someone, and we expect them to be there for us, yet we get disappointed. We create friendships and we expect those friends to never turn their backs on us, yet they do, and we get disappointed. Do you see what I see? The pit-hole is that little extra decision we made to expect something, from someone. Yet if we extract that bit from the formula we are set on a path of less disappointments and eternal emotional freedom, guaranteed. Once I encountered this little thought that nudged me and set me free from disappointments, I am going to paraphrase: “the minute you receive anything or anyone in your life, take a minute to imagine it broken.” I will leave you with this last thought to ponder… enjoy.
Kindness is the only thing that lasts: People come and go, yet, their memories last with us. What is the lasting memory do you want to leave when you’re gone? As I go through my truth-seeking path in this life, I found out our kind hearts leave the biggest and the most impactful prints. Things like, calling your mom every day and checking on her, that will leave a cheer in her heart. Calling that boss who lend you a hand when life dragged you down on your knees, your feelings of gratitude towards them will encourage them to do more acts of good. Thank those people who hurt you or turned their back on you on a drowning moment, because they taught you that lesson about life that you will never forget, and helped you grow. There is a room for kindness, forgiveness and love in everything we encounter in this life. Take a moment, absorb the situation with a deep breath of fresh air, switch those thoughts, and say to yourself and the whole world: “I send you bright light of love and gratitude, wherever you are.” You will notice the shift within you and all around you. I promise.
